Nosy Jim

Jim is our neighbor. I'm not sure of his last name, we have lived across the street from each other for 6+ years and we only refer to him as "Nosy Jim" because he is. The other day, Derek wanted me to walk to the mailbox with him as he rode his scooter. As I was coming outside Derek was across the street talking to Nosy Jim and riding his scooter through his freshly mopped garage and driveway. Yes, he mops his garage and driveway, often. Jim comes over to tell me that some of our roofing came off probably during the wind/rain storm we had last week. I hadn't noticed anything and it happened about 10 days ago. Jim pointed to where it was and I couldn't see anything. He said, " you have to come to stand right here, and you have to get just the right angle and look right between those two trees...do you see it now?" Barely! I don't think anyone else would have noticed it except maybe a home inspector climbing around on our roof looking for problems. 

 The first time we met Nosy Jim was when we were moving in. He came over to introduce himself and tell us that one of our bricks was crooked in our entryway. I never would have noticed this, but they were still putting the finishing touches on our house so we had them fix the very slightly crooked brick. Over the years Jim has told us that Filthy Croatian immigrants built our house. He doesn't like Croatians (another story) How dare those Croatians? I honestly thought they were Mexicans. They spoke Spanish pretty well and they had dark hair and looked Mexican, I don't think I would know Croatian if I saw one, but he does. I really didn't care who built the house, just so they did a good job. He also told us that before our house was finished (before we took possession) that one night some people walked all through the house, they walked all the way through the upstairs and down. He couldn't get a good look because it was dark. When he told us this, I honestly didn't care because it wasn't our house or our problem yet. Whatever could happen was still the builder's responsibility. It turns out those people were Curtis and Marilyn Johnson. How dare those nosy people? 

When we first moved in Jim had an Armored Knight right outside his front door. It was kind of odd and didn't go with his stucco house with desert landscaping. Everyone that came to our house said "what's up with the knight?" From the very beginning, we suspected there was surveillance hidden in the knight. He was so dang nosy. The HOA told him he needed to get rid of it. He said he would, but the funny thing before he could rid of it someone beat him to it and stole it right off his front porch. It looked kind of expensive too. Maybe it was a Croatian that took it. He also knocked on our door to tell us that there were scorpions on our block wall. He and our other neighbor Kevin had been going around the neighborhood with black lights looking for scorpions and they found some on our block wall. They suggested that I get a black light, find the scorpions, catch them, and put them in a jar. No thanks, I don't have time for that and that is why I have the pest control come. Besides Dax is already terrified of scorpions he would lose it if he knew we were scorpion hunting at our house. 

 Nosy Jim also likes to complain a lot. Like how awful the traffic is behind his house (right in front of the school) for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the afternoon while it is drop off and pick up time. That's what you get for living right next to an elementary school. He doesn't like people in AZ, they can't do anything right like fix his something special yada yada corvette. I think he should leave then. The problem is he has way too much free time. Anyone who has time to mop their driveway, notice crooked bricks on the neighbors' house, and broken roofing when you stand at the right angle, and have time to scorpion hunt needs something to do. Maybe he can come to mop my driveway and garage. I barely have time to mop the interior much less the exterior.